We have a serious problem on this internet of ours! Oompa Loompas are widely discriminated against in this society. As a proud and hardy Oompa Loompa, I am severely offended by the treatment I have received as of lately. I was playing Literati on Yahoo! Games, and my first opponent wanted to exchange casual photos. I told him no. I'm married, and sharing photos with strangers just leads to bad things. I also know the reactions I get from people when they find out I am of the Doopity-Doo tribe. They are shocked! And appalled! I didn't want to out myself.
Then, his next question is what I look like. And I think, "Oh, shit..." What am I supposed to do now?! A bubble of bravery swelled within my stomach, just waiting to burst forth. Or maybe it was just gas, I don't know, I'm an Oompa Loompa-Gypsy, not a doctor. I took a deep breath and typed, "Like an Oompa Loompa." All went quiet. Then, there came a request to cancel the game. I denied it because I needed my fill of Literati!! But Kevin(yes, his name was Kevin) resigned. My heart was broken.
I almost cried, and then I thought, "No! This is NOT okay!" So I am demanding that Oompa Loompas from all over the globe unite to end this discrimination! We will stand for it no longer!! Brothers and sister, whether you be of the Doopity-Doo or the Doopity-Dee tribe, we must take a stand! We must attack while they are unprepared!! We shall gnaw at their kneecaps, where they are most vulnerable! We shall strike back!
Who's with me?!
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